omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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