More tranny stories later!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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