she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
