sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
