There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
