You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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