Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
