I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
