She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is it fun? or sober?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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