Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
