i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
