Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
