shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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