i don't like sucking hair
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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