also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
