You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need moral support for this bender
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I believe in your delicious
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