its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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