OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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