i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
