There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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