Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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