if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Let's get the cat blown out
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