Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
