This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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