You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's Friday. Sex?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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