So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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