so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
