DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle