She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...