Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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