Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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