I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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