i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
