just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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