Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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