She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
