Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize