so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
