If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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