It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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