And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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