I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
