well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
