I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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