Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
