This is not my ceiling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
