Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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