My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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