Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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