when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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