And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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