I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize