That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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