i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
