One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
