I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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