fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize