Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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