Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The adults are the big ones right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
