Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
