It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
