Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
