i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
