Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
