But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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