found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
